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Can these resolutions make your life miserable?
With a new year/decade approaching, we all tend to get caught up in the excitement. It’s that time of the year where you get to see your family and friends, enjoy days off and make plans for the upcoming year. New Year’s resolutions are part of holiday craze, but can they do more harm than good?
According to psychologists, the main reason New Year’s resolutions fail is not complicated. We set the goals too high because we get caught up in the holiday magic. There’s nothing wrong with not keeping up a New Year’s resolution, but our brains are wired differently. And that’s when the issues become more than just broken promises.
Let’s put this into another perspective: Dry January is approaching as well. It sounds like a good idea in theory, but it gives people an excuse to indulge in binge-drinking. Once they do break their promise, they feel guilt and shame and drink more. That’s the same mindset we have when we are thinking of New Year’s resolutions, and once we break them, we feel ashamed, worthless, and we tend to forget all the good we are already doing in our lives.
To break this circle, all you have to do is be reasonable. New Years will come with or without celebrations, cookies, or fancy outfits, not to mention resolutions. That’s why you don’t need to put on the extra pressure to please everyone during the holiday season, nor to take the resolutions so seriously.
Once you set realistic goals, the next thing to do is to start making plans. Don’t let people and situations demotivate you, but more importantly, be kind to yourself. Would you really put your best friend down for skipping the gym? Or would you judge someone you love for breaking a diet over one piece of cake? No, you’d tell them that it was just a small slip up, and they deserve to be happy. Then you’d list some of the things they already accomplished, and that’s what you should you for yourself.
How do you make a good New Year’s resolution? First, focus on things you like, something that drives you. Secondly, don’t put too much effort into time frames, at least not this very moment. Do things at your pace. And most importantly, leave yourself enough room to be vague. For example: “I will go to the gym three times a week” is bad. A good resolution is: “I will do my best to exercise more and eat better.” It’s your life, not a competition, and if you are setting unreasonable goals, how will you earn the respect of others if you don’t respect yourself? No one can make a promise to go to the gym three times a week. Why? Because humans get the flu, a babysitter may not be available, or you cannot afford a gym that month.
It’s not about changing yourself. It’s about improvement, and that can start right this moment, not once the clock strikes midnight.
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