It is always a sad day when couples can’t work out their differences.

The real sad part of any split is what it does to the children. But there is hope. Today more and more divorced parents are choosing to co-parent instead of choosing who raises the child or having to try to alternate the time.

But it’s not just the parents anymore. States have a big say in how all of the parenting plays out. While they don’t get to decide how to raise your child, they can pass legislation that offers more opportunities for your child to grow up being raised by both parents. But some states are better than other.

According to a report by the National Parents Organization, New York and Rhode Island have scored the lowest of any other states. The states of Kentucky and Arizona scored the highest out of all the other states. The reason for the low rating mostly has to do with the fact that New York has no shared parent legislation that recognizes shared parenting or joint legal custody.

This is important for many reasons. Studies have shown that kids that grow up with both parents are more likely to adapt better in situations as an adult. According to studies, 35% of children that grew up spending unequal amount of time have trouble adapting to changes in life as well as a higher risk for mental health issues and other instability further on in life.

But there are other alternatives. Many lawyers and mediators are helping to mitigate the effects of a divorce by helping families work through their issues without having to split the kids time.